Rest in the Lord

Post 251
I have really been struggling the past several weeks to get the next post out. I just counted 7 very good, lengthy, different, researched attempts and from my investigation they are all worthy of posting but I just can’t post them and don’t clearly know why. Having just spent a long period of trying to write fast enough to keep up with the Lord, now I find I am “working at it” to get it put together. But that doesn’t really explain it right; I had to work at it before. Unlike many other ministers, these posts do not simply spill out onto a page and “poof” another post is ready for publication in a few hours; I have to sweat great effort to reach my ends yet my efforts are sponsored by the Spirit of God and I clearly see his hand in every bit of it. I really don’t know how to explain that apparent dichotomy. But I think I just clicked with the cause of my current situation and as always its not just one simple problem but a complex combination of things to get here in this quandary.

Primarily there was utter exhaustion from the long effort, which is simply a physical condition of human limitations; I need a break. But I can’t seem to leave well enough alone and though I am “breaking” I keep dabbling in the work that I love so much that is left hanging. It’s the dabbling without success that has me confused I think.
God-gifted-preachers seem to have the natural ability to consume the scripture and regurgitate it to their flocks to provide them with nourishment. I am not a preacher. If the Spirit of God is not directly moving me, what I have to say is usually not the right thing for the situation. I find I am a lot like Peter with his foot-in-mouth problem through most of the Gospel narrations, but when the Holy Spirit came on him he was really dynamic and powerful in his message. That is really my story too I think.
So when the Spirit determined I needed a break, for me to keep dabbling is to revert to my former humanity of efforts. Yet, now with my recent previous experience of the Spirit’s moving, I can somehow tell that I better not send it out to the public though it still looks good to me, it’s lacking that most important something that can’t easily be identified.

As I investigate this situation I find a possible resulting alteration in my work, rather than expounding on scripture, it seems my work-attempts are now explaining scripture. And while others may be good at that, I don’t think that is my gifted role. My biggest conflict is not taking the break, but that the break came where it did, leaving a fairytale as the most recent and presently last post. I keep trying to resolve that because I don’t care for that at all! But apparently God does not seem to mind.
I have no intention of ending this Blog or my work but am diligently and faithfully waiting on God to give the word… if he intends to continue it at all.

Are you likewise doing only what the Spirit of God moves you to do or are you simply very busy at the Lord’s work not bothering to check if the Lord is actually in it? Wait on the Lord (Genesis 49:18, Psalm 27:13-14, 37:9,34, Proverbs 20:22, Isaiah 40:30-31, Micah 7:7, Zephaniah 3:8-9, Zechariah 11:10-13, James 5:7-8). These are not arbitrary verses stuffed in from a generic word search; they are the message of God to wait on Him and him alone, ESPECIALLY when we see things getting worse. As the Black storm continues to build we indeed need to be busy, but busy only in what the Lord directs and not simply filling our precious time with “busy work” slapping God labels on every empty box we can find. Resting in the Lord is not a waste of time, but it’s NOT taking-a-break-from-God either!
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