Still Learning

Post 212

(Matthew 8:23-27, Luke 8:22-25).

Starting with post 209, these past several posts were actually written in my own exploration of study for my own personal understanding and were not meant for posting. I have simply gotten in the mindframe of studying like this to actually write out my reasoning as if I am making an argument I expect to be challenged, it helps me to refine my reasons better in my analysis. Then I had a few regular faithful readers that I thought might be able to use these personal studies in their own explorations of the faith and so post them for a short time without publicly broadcasting it.
Now as my study develops depth I find that in the pattern of Revelation 7:1-17, 10:1-11:14, and 16:15-16 regarding the seven seals, trumpets, and bowls, there are significant elements to my own pause between the body of my blog and the last segment of the end times study that perhaps needs to be included in my whole big picture too. So although this will be a side issue and a distraction from the intended exploration of the End Times, I am in good company and believe I have God’s Spirit of confirmation. Be advised to take this with whatever grain of salt you choose as this is not intended to be primarily instructional as if I know something you need, but rather I expose to you the workings of my mental exercises as I respond to my situation and grow in my next level of faith in a real way. I really find it distasteful to expose myself like this but somehow feel inclined.
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Analogy:
Using my previous analogy of my flight instructor carefully setting up a box canyon scenario then turning the plane over to me to deal with the situation, I find my real life situation to be very accurately represented. I indicated by quick observation of the facts there is not enough room to gain the needed altitude to clear the mountains I can see at the end of the canyon, nor enough width in the canyon to make a U-turn. The canyon may have some hidden saddle pass in the end which I cannot see at this point but that is a poor reason to continue flying deeper into trouble. I indicated that with the information I have available, my first and greatest inclination of safety is to find a flat strip of grass and put the plane down as safely as possible and so I develop this line of thinking now.

Grass Strip or Push On?
Let me start by saying that by nature I do think I often overthink too much. I remember I had this trouble in my actual flight training. I would reason that if my instructor set up a situation it could not actually be dangerous as this was only training and so there must be some avenue of safety he knew that I didn’t. Was I supposed to find that hidden option? Was this part of the scenario? How do you know what parts of reality to pretend don’t exist and pretend parts exist that don’t, when you are actually in a real world training? Therefore I had a tough time responding to the scenarios correctly. In otherwords I would act differently with him in this setup scenario than I would if the situation was a real event. This always complicated my training because I usually choose the thing in the scenario that I would not choose if it were a real situation....or at least I think so. Pretend in reality is actually hard for me to deal with well but I usually do pretty good in real life situations without these distractions of overthinking the added variables. Observe the problem then choose the solution.
I remember really fighting to grasp another flight instruction situation where I was supposed to pretend the ground was at the 2000’ altimeter elevation and the instructor would set up the scenario starting at 3000’ instructing me to land on the pretend ground. I just never could do it but I rarely failed to stick a clean landing on the real asphalt runway. My problem is trying to understand where pretend is supposed to be thought of as real but where reality still must be applied; If I bleed off speed and flare at 2020’ for a pretend landing the plane will stall, but that was not in the scenario given so am I supposed to be thinking of this? Is this really a lesson on landings or stalls?
I remember in another lesson it was impossible to pretend to act out in flight that I had entered a stall and then respond correctly with real actions without actually having stalled the plane, but it was almost harder to get the instructor to actually stall the plane and recover. I eventually asked if he could do it and he confirmed he could, “So lets do it and see if I can recover”. Eventually he agreed and everything went fine; real problem/real solution. I just can’t easily pretend in real life situations without a lot of groundwork establishing the many rules and purposes that govern the pretend lesson. What makes a scenario different from pretend is that in a pretend scenario you don’t actually do the event you just imagine you did where in a scenario you act out the real events but in a carefully scripted safe boundary. In a scenario I usually figure; Since you won’t let this go too far, lets push forward and see what you know that I don’t, and so I choose to push deeper into the canyon. But this is where it has gotten interesting in my present situation as I think about all this.

Although the instructor declares himself to be absent, he is still sitting there in control of the big picture boundaries. Likewise in real life even though the Spirit of God seems to have departed, is the Lord actually gone? Of course not! This is a scenario. Now how am I supposed to respond?

This is the same situation in which the Disciples found themselves in the stormy sea of Matthew 8. Jesus the Master flight instructor had set up the environment; he ordered the weather, he invited them boating with a declared destination, and then “went to sleep” but he was still in the boat. This was a scenario. So they plunged ahead doing what they know how to do so well.
Obviously there was a time between the calm seas they set out in and the boat full of water. You have to give them credit for waiting as long as they did before crying out in fear. They really must have given it all they had in order to weather the increasing storm until it filled the boat, and you know they had to run through all the options of what they knew they should do and what the scenario demanded them to do but the options and efforts simply ran out as futile. They tried everything to pass the lesson but simply ran out of ideas. Still the master slept. Your kidding right?
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Chicken:
I remember actually scaring my flight instructor on a flame-out “deadstick” landing scenario over the waters of the Southeast Alaska coastline south of Juneau. From 2200’ the instructor pulled power and told me “the engine is out” what was I going to do? I verbally walked through my thinking as I acted; Evaluating elevation, wind direction, traffic, and location I chose the longest flattest unobstructed beach within reach and began my calculated descent. He silently let me carry out the scenario until we were literally feet above the sand with a good approach and full flaps. I was a bit curious that he was going to let me actually land it but figured it must be a good beach if he was going to let it happen and so had every intention of putting it down for the experience. From the corner of my eye I noticed him involuntarily stiffen in an accelerated way as we grew closer before he shoved in full throttle about the time the wheels should have touched and we made a powered pass-by. Later in evaluation he expressed amazement at my apparent calmness through it all.
Now in retrospect I think the instructor was playing chicken with me expecting me to cry uncle first, but I had faith in the instructor expecting that he would not let the scenario go further than he could handle and it wasn’t my plane if I wrecked it so what did I have to fear? Dying? Was I really supposed to think the instructor was going to let a dangerous set up actually play out putting himself and his plane at risk? Was Jesus the messiah “sleeping” in the boat during the storm of the century really going to let them all die that night? Hardly *1.
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One Master:
Now I may have intellectually considered that the weight and configuration of the plane with the small asphalt tires it carried were not acceptable to land on a beach that may or may not be soft sand, and with reasonable intelligence and knowledge of facts I could have become very concerned that the instructor was ignorant enough to let me land in a dangerous environment putting both our lives at risk, but this is a two masters issue; who is in control? It is apparent that this is the double mind of the Disciples as they cried out to Jesus in fear for their lives and small faith in him as the Son of God they knew him to be. It was this doubt in him that he showed them by his gentle rebuke, and by suddenly calming the seas he showed them the incredible control he had over the scenario he gave them. Just think what I could learn if my flight instructor had that ability!
I may or may not have been foolish in my trust of the flight instructor to keep us from an actually dangerous situation but my simple confidence and lack of actual responsibility for any consequences gave me a great boldness to simply follow instructions to the best of my abilities and see what came of it. Is this not the instruction given to us by Jesus? “But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14, “Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein” Mark 10:15. What is Jesus saying here? This is an issue all about just who is the master of the scenario in your own mind. “(For we walk by faith, not by sight:) We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord” II Corinthians 5:7-8. So pull the plug and sink this boat, I'm excited to see what it looks like on the bottom of the sea while Jesus sustains me there! with such an incredible opportunity am I really to be concerned that the water might ruin my i-phone?

So how do we put all this into a package of application?
Knowing that the instructor is in complete control of the scenario, I am still doing virtually all the flying; the decisions and inputs I make have very real effect on the plane in the scenario and we end up going where and how I decide by such input, but who is really in control? We are safe as long as I fly according to his previous teaching I have already learned and I am completely ready to do whatever the instructor says at any given moment. So while the plane is mine to fly, it is always in his control.
The scenario of the disciples in the boat is actually a more accurate analogy of the reality in that their input was not acceptable to the need and they simply could not apply “the right” action for success. Why would God put them in such a situation of impossible solution and then rebuke their fear? Because they lacked faith in the Master and this was the purpose of the scenario training.
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It's all about faith:
In my flight analogy of my very real present situation in life which I have been given to fly, I am really searching the ground for a place to land because this is the safest logical resolution of the danger I face; I look for a place long enough to put it down safely in good condition while I keep an eye out for a break in what lies ahead. There have been a few spots that seem to come up but as I set up to commit to it, they turn out to be no good; “Clouds without rain” as in Proverbs 25:14 and I power up and continue on.
The disciples too, simply ran out of options though they tried them all to no avail, but still the Lord was not helping. Yet because of his rebuke of their fear and lack of faith after the scenario was over, it is clear that they did not do well in what it was he was teaching them. So just what is it they were to learn from the scenario Jesus put them in? By his own words it seems evident that they were to learn to have a lot more faith in him; “Where is your faith?” Luke 8:25.

So in analyzing their actions in their scenario, what were they to do differently? Were they to sit in a circle around the mast while singing coom-by-ya in the Joy of the Lord knowing that Jesus would come around at the right time to save the day? I don’t think so as that is irresponsible lack of participation in this life; in otherwords it is not flying according to the training already received (Example: Matthew 5,6 and 7 as basic “doing” the faith). The whole idea of a scenario is for you to play your part *2. They were fishermen and knew how to handle a boat. They were indeed to apply real and responsible actions to their real situation in which the Lord asked them to enter. They did that, so what was lacking?
There is a bit more detail in Matthew 8:26; “Why are you fearful, O ye of little faith?”
The rebuke here was not their actions or lack of actions. It is not that they “failed to do” the right thing or “did” the wrong thing. All this was beside the point of the lesson they were supposed to learn. The answer to their failure was in their fear as if he would let them die; "Master, carest thou not that we perish?” Mark 4:28

But because this was a scenario we know and they should have known that Jesus was not going to sit there and let them perish even though by all observation it was really looking like he would. He gave them that extra believable option of thought by being “asleep” in the storm *3. Jesus carefully set up all the parameters to bring out any fear that might be in them in their level of faith, and clearly Jesus is a master scenario setter-upper! This was done for a purpose; to increase their little faith by showing it to them for what it was; little.
Who was this Jesus riding in their boat? Was it not the Creator himself? (John 1:1-3,14) Was it not Jesus who called up the storm that had them so afraid? He shows this to be true by “striking the set” at the end of the scenario, and so by experience and observation their little faith grew significantly.
Later they were sent out in a repeat of the scenario but this time he was not with them because their faith was stronger Mark 6:45-53. Same difficulty of success at a different skill level.
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The Bigger Picture:
Now I find my own similar problem Jesus is no doubt teaching me; clearly my faith has room to grow as I am in my own scenario carefully set up by God. But having the advantage of the scripture to read that Jesus can even be raised from the dead if killed, and seeing that all life is just a scenario of training, how can I find myself in a scenario that can actually show me my lack of faith? How can I really be afraid with what I know through scripture? Try as I might I can’t ignore that the instructor is still in the plane even though he is “sleeping” while I sort out my options. So how bad can it really get? Oh the scenario can get really bad because Jesus is the master scenario setter-upper but what is the real danger with him in control? Is physical death serious enough to abandon the test? The three Babylonian captives did not think so as recorded in Daniel 3:16-18. So while they had faith unto death should we waver in our confidence in these smaller matters we face? If no safe landing spots present themselves in an allowable way, why should I not be excited to see what’s at the end of the canyon? I have confidence in the flight instructor.
So to make the point more dramatic for my sake, he jumps from the plane with no parachute! (by analogy of course) in otherwords the Spirit of God seemed to depart from me. So now what do I do? I wrestle with the reasons and causes and meaning. I seriously search out my error and find a few issues I can fix and do. But really? I’m not convinced these are really the cause anymore than the disciples found fault of their own for Jesus being crucified.
Judas obviously felt significant and justifiable guilt and responded incorrectly by killing himself. Peter also felt a huge weight of guilt as did the others for abandoning Jesus in fear, but they responded correctly in repentance. Yet these were not the actual reasons Jesus died; God simply used their actions and lack thereof in his bigger plan just as he used the actions of the Jewish leaders to kill their own Messiah; It had to be done and the scenario was set up to reveal their lack of faith while also fulfilling other purposes too.
Were there lessons to be learned by the individuals involved? Of course there were, but the lessons were theirs and not going to change God’s big picture plan regardless of their conduct, it didn’t matter what the disciples did their boat was about to sink. This is all about faith. It’s always all about faith (Romans 14:23). So if I am all shook up about potentially crashing my plane because God is sleeping, then I don’t know my God at all.
Might I have to crash my plane to learn whatever it is he is teaching me which might have nothing to do with flying? Perhaps. Should that bother me? I don’t think it should if it is all about faith in the Master, though obviously I will do all I can and rightly feel responsible to do to make sure that doesn’t happen; I really don’t want to crash my plane anymore than the disciples wanted their boat to sink. But whether the boat sank or not was not actually in the power of the Disciple’s actions and neither are the problems in our similar scenarios of life. This is about faith. (Obviously there are other scenarios with different reasons that will have different outcomes, this is for each of us to perceive with our Lord. I don’t think being killed for your faith is really a scenario for the sake of growing weak faith but it still has much to do with faith! (Revelation 2:10, Luke 6:48, I Corinthians 3:13-15)
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Real Application:
Believe me, I am trying to remember that in a scenario you are supposed to pretend the instructor is not in the plane while performing your tasks with an assurance that you cannot actually do anything by mistake that will put you in peril. This allows you to perform your tasks of training without fear. You are supposed to do the best and most reasonable reaction to the situation set up as if he was not in the plane while knowing that he is. In my present case I can think of nothing safer than to land the plane and end the flight before things get worse (this would end the scenario), and while I am looking for a place to put it down I’m hoping to find a side canyon junction big enough to turn around in. I’m looking for options I don’t yet see and wondering what is the actual right thing to do; Do I play it safe and bail on the mission by carefully crashing here, or do I continue to fly expecting some break will show itself further ahead? Honestly as I grow older my reactions are becoming different. Not long ago I would have boldly pushed on in the confidence of success not even looking for a landing site, but now I gravitate toward the safe choice (crashing even a little in an poor landing option is not something I would actually choose over continuing in hope, but it sure is something I evaluate as an option now days), so will the outcome of the lesson be different in my older age than in my young days? I don’t think so if I have maintained faith, and here is cool part; God won’t offer the safe option in the scenario because he knows my present weakness, and landing is not the purpose of the intent of the scenario. So knowing I will choose the grass strip, he leaves them out of the box canyon and provides only unacceptable crash landing options I must deviate from my training to choose. So in faith I continue to fly while sweating out the right choices. I have to believe the disciples in the storm must have beat themselves up for insufficient bailing or not turning the bow to the wave in time or any other of a number of things that might have been able to save the ship in theory. But although putting in an effort was indeed a part of their tasks, the scenario was going to play out as the master intended. An unsunken boat was not actually the goal of the scenario; this was about their faith.
So fear that I might do or not do something critical thus failing the lesson? I don’t think so. In fact I am sure that’s why I’m not finding any solutions to end the scenario; apparently that is not within the scope of the lesson at this point and God won’t let us outside of his intended lesson unless we cry uncle and want out because of fear as the disciples did. See how cool this is? This is why there was no 4th servant given money/talent that tried but failed; it is simply not possible to fail if we just apply our training to the end of the scenario in faith *4.
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The scenario continues to a deeper level:
At Jesus death that scenario seemed to end and the disciples went back to what they knew in order to pay their bills and get on with their lives as best they could while sorting out the deep meaning of the recent events, and that was where the Lord found them after his resurrection (John 21). This was not even mentioned as a rebuke, it was just the natural place for them to be. They occupied themselves with the fishing but what was on their minds was the confusion of their faith. They did not abandon the faith now despised as a failure, they simply didn’t understand the events and were wrestling with what it meant.
I find it curious to note that though they went back to their former work, their efforts were reported as unprofitable (John 21:5); similar “Clouds without rain” as my own efforts. Were they doing wrong by trying? No, but what they did at the time had no benefit as it was really inconsequential to the big picture plan and what was on their minds. I don’t think it mattered what they did at that time outside of contemplating what they thought they knew of Jesus and all he taught them. They thought it was all over but the scenario was playing on just as pre-planned by God.
How many times have you experienced failure and were sure you had destroyed God’s plan for you? Are you really so powerful as to foil God? Did he not know what you would do and is that not already calculated into his big picture for you? Is your faith in yourself or in God? If I enter a spin and apply the wrong action have I foiled the plan of the flight instructor or does he take control, fix the situation and then hand it back to me with more instructions? Fear comes when we actually think we have become the master of our own plane and the instructor is no longer involved. In life this is not possible as it is all just a scenario in God’s hand. Fear also comes when we choose to protect our second master's desires in opposition to God's. If you are afraid God will destroy your life if you let him, you are serving the second master.
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Paying Taxes: Matthew 17:24-27
I love how Jesus performs miracles while hiding the miracle in “natural events” that relate as a miracle only to those receiving the miracle. Remember the issue about the disciples needing to pay taxes? Whether they actually owed them or not is not my point here (v.25-27a), but after Peter agreed that they would pay them (v.25) Jesus gave instruction to avoid an issue.
These were fishermen by trade and spent their lives fishing to pay their bills. But they had stopped fishing to follow Jesus and so were short of cash. What now?
Jesus did not send them out to harvest crops or make furniture, he sent them fishing. But not in the same way they made their living before. These men had fished in volume by nets to pay the bills but now he sent them with a fishing pole and instructed them that the bills would be paid in the first lone fish caught. These men knew fish and the value of fish, they knew you could not pay the bills with a single fish, but off they went with their instructions from the master. What a display of commitment to a single master....who was not them; the master fishermen! They did not use their experience or logic or their reason of wisdom to disagree or argue with Jesus who was not a fisherman by trade, they just did as they were told by the one they declared was their master. No Two Masters problem here even though they knew quite a bit about fishing and bills. And what do you know; the first fish they caught had a coin in its mouth of a value large enough to pay the taxes, just like Jesus foretold!
In order to avoid our ability to confuse the meaning, Jesus specifically stated the money would cover not just himself, but the disciples as well; “that take, and give unto them for me and thee.” v.27b.
So why make them go through the temporal actions of fishing if he was going to perform the miracle of the coin, couldn’t he have just pulled it from a disciple’s ear while sitting around the fire? Do you suppose the coin was dropped from a boat and the fish took in the coin perhaps because it was flashing as it fell through the water, and that just by happen chance the fish then swam to just the right spot at just the right time to be caught by the fisherman Jesus sent at just that time? Well yes. Scientifically provable by the unbelieving mind it was all a series of normal events in our temporal world, yet the timing and pre-planning of the Creator to make it all come out the way it did was a very real miracle. It was confirmed to be a miracle only because Jesus prophesied it before it happened but confirmed or not it was would have been the same miracle if he had not foretold the end result; the coin would still have paid the tax.

I think about this as I consider my own options; do I return to what I was doing before God called me to do this work? Sure, it just makes reasonable sense in my need and request that is not answered, and in a disciple-bailing-the-boat kind of way I have extended that shingle in a variety of ways to see what might happen. I will not go into the details but the result is a very curious multiplicity of negative in that option just as was the disciple’s strange negative results from applying their craft of fishing; What normally should have produced was a dry well. Curious; This scenario is going to play out as God intended even against my efforts just as the Disciples boat filled with water in spite of their best efforts. This is good to know. If I sat on my hands while waiting for God’s input I would not know if the resulting crash was due to my inaction or a design of God’s scenario, so I act and thereby eliminate that concern. I see virtually no good outcome of this scenario outside the Lord’s direct involvement, but so far the scenario continues to play out as the flight instructor remains silent. I find myself in the anxiety of uncertainty a bit too regularly assuring God that I’m ready for him to jump in any time he feels the need but he simply smiles in silence which I take to mean I should keep at it. I mean this literally as I have his amazing peace about all this in the middle of the unknown and that is a fantastic assurance that the scenario is still going well within his plan. I can all but actually see him sitting right seat there in the plane but “unavailable” for counseling as this is my scenario to act within as I see fit to do.

With a serious aversion to sitting around the mast in a circle of one singing Coom-by-ya, I am honestly out of ideas and finding it hard to avoid the knowledge that the Lord has everything well in hand and so I find myself not trying to fix things as diligently as I perhaps should, but instead continue in the work I still feel called to do that has no financial profit. This recognition of my scenario busting mindframe bothers me as I suppose that means things are going to have to get much worse before I can learn my intended instruction. This does not set well with me as my stomach knots get tighter the further into this box canyon I fly as it appears a very real crash might be included in the scenario for my education because of my mindframe!
But by what I know from the nature of God and the cause of the scenario; I know I will survive this and out the other side I will have even more confidence that God is faithful and will indeed sustain me (Psalm 55:22).
“Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast…” Pslam 56:1-
The Psalmist indicates he too knows he will come out the other side regardless of what it looks like at the time, the disciples in the boat didn’t have this perspective.
* * *

Perspective:
I find it strange to have full confidence that I will come out of this in good shape but still fly my scenario with the appropriate stress of the events. It seems I am better at scenarios than I thought (said wryly). And while you suppose I am simply out of touch with reality I am suggesting that by jumping dimensions I am viewing all this from God’s side of the scenario. I honestly believe this is the whole idea of faith; to see life from God’s perspective. What I find amazing is that I am not “trying” to do this, I am actually experiencing it. The peace of God that passes all understanding is flowing through me like a torrent even while the concern for the situation causes tension. This amazes me as I observe it while still uncertain about what I should do in the scenario presented. But again; What should the Disciple have done differently? Nothing but to let go of the fear and enjoy the ride in faith.
* * *

Blessing before breaking:
Recently a preacher that shall go unnamed hit a homerun with me in an interpretation of Jesus feeding the 5000 (Matthew 14:17-21). “And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude” Matthew 14:19.
In this teaching it was brought out that first came blessing, then a breaking, before the miracle increase could be useful to others.
We often accept that a breaking is going to result in a good outcome through verses such as is commonly quoted; “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 but what is almost always left out is the reason for this verse; “For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he (Jesus) might be the firstborn among many brethren (the conformed)” Romans 8:29.
This tells us that what individual undesirable events we go though that eventually work together for good has been predetermined by God for the purpose of conforming the called to the image of Jesus. This also has a reason; so that Jesus will have many brethren of those who have been so conformed in this way.
The point that stuck with me is that before the breaking is a blessing to those who are the called according to his purpose. There is no such prior blessing before the breaking to the wicked because the breaking is for a different purpose; perhaps calling them in the first place to learn to love God.
I have been incredibly blessed before the apparently soon breaking. Being the called and having a predestined purpose for the breaking I know that the end result will convert me to be able to benefit far more than I could have before the breaking, by conforming me to the likeness of Christ.
Now in my box canyon analogy a crashed airplane could be seen as a breaking. So while we are imagining, lets imagine “Why” by continuing using the analogy:
Just suppose there is an unknown village of natives that I am supposed to bless once I crash right in their mountain habitat. Of course I don’t know that now in the scenario and of course I’m going to do my part not to crash, but honestly none of my efforts are going to change the intended outcome if I remain willingly within God’s scenario he has given me to fly. I don’t need to know the plan, just do my part and have faith in God that his plan is perfect. What is there to fear but the foiling of a second master’s desires to keep a pretty plane? This is really the cause of concern isn’t it? I like my present life and don’t want it messed up. But whose plane is it really? Have I not already turned over the title to him? And was it not at that time a great wreck I had made of it and now under his ownership it became a pretty nice ship? Has he not carefully instructed me over time to the skill level needed in this present scenario? So what have I got to fear?
* * *

Do I really believe that the God I worship is really God?
In the many years before his miraculous provision did he not provide the means I found to pay my bills? And in this recent work he called me to do, did he not provide for my needs miraculously for more than three years? So now when he chooses a different scenario to play out am I to fear it is because he cannot provide? I have not failed to do my part diligently so whatever comes is a part of the scenario with the purpose of betterment and not destruction.
I will tell you what I have to fear; it is the second master revealed in the illusion of the undesirable consequences of my own actions. I have no confidence of what I’m doing as this is a development I have never experienced before in training. Clearly in life our actions produce outcome; cause and effect. And to be honest the second I step away from my present committed course of action I begin to fear; “What kind of an idiot am I? What do I think will be the real result of my cavalier mindframe?” What do I expect?
But I am not failing an attempt to bail the boat, I am just aware by the present results that it will do no good until God wants it to, so while I bail I am curious to see what God has planned. After all, is this not the Creator who could and has put gold coins in the mouths of fish to pay taxes?
This is the mystery of our scenarios of this life; We are in control of the flight choices as we react to events, but God is the flight instructor in control of the scenario (Psalm 37:23-24). In otherwords right or wrong on my part, if I play my part honestly the outcome can only be a better pilot! So I boldly pick my path and fly it seriously desiring a better evaluation than “Why are you fearful, oh ye of little faith.”
* * * * * * *
John 20:29-31

*1 Chicken: I don’t recommend playing chicken with God, he does not loose! I was not playing chicken with this flight instructor, I had faith in him. He was playing chicken with me similar to Jesus with the disciples. In both cases it was a learning situation but my human instructor is not in God’s class; God cannot be afraid so it really was not a game of chicken it was a lesson.

*2 Scenario; 1. An outline or synopsis of a ply, the book of an opera, etc., showing the scenes and the entrances and exits of the actors. 2. Motion Pictures. The story of the plot of a photoplay, showing its development scene by scene and giving all essential details for acting the play.

Merriam-Webster modern Dictionary - The plot or outline of a dramatic work; also: an account of a possible action.

So if the Lord is never absent from the plane, what is the difference between a scenario and reality? The entire opera of life is already scripted in the Bible. It seems that life is simply a scenario. This is the potency of prophecy.

*3 I chuckle when I think how disconcerting it was to be in what appeared to be grave danger but the flight instructor was busy reading the paperwork in his lap. All I desperately wanted him to do was just look up for second so that I would know he knows how bad things are, but he wouldn’t look up! This is why Jesus was asleep in the boat. Looking back I now know there was nothing occupying the instructor’s mind, it was all a part of the set up to make me believe I was fully in the seat of responsibility with an idiot beside me, This is how I learn to make good judgments, but to doubt the ability or intelligence of the instructor to the point I DEMAND his attention? That is a whole different problem. If I panic and demand he take control to get us out of danger, the scenario would be over and I would fail the lesson. The lesson might not have actually been about faith but it was over because of a lack of it. This was why they were rebuked.

*4 Now look, I am not intentionally leaving out the details of my personal situation so that you can waste your time wondering what they are, It doesn’t matter and explaining them would take far too long and would never be enough to get your mind in agreement with mine in my personal situation; It has been said “the difference between a Recession and a Depression is that a Depression happens to me, while what happens to you is just a Recession.” Instead of wasting your mind and energy dreaming up what possibly could be my situation, apply this intentional universal analogy to your own life and your own level of faith in your own situation. Can you apply any of this in your own life? Good, that is the point of posting this.
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